Discipline is supposed to be teaching the kids responsibility by encouraging them and help them build self-esteem and make them really feel that they are important to us so they will feel loved. If they are disciplined according to these principles, they need not turn into bad habits like going to gangsters, drug abuse or promiscuity to be able to feel they are powerful.
Here are some keys that will help us parents to discipline our kids and be successful with it and be able to mold our children into ones with good self-esteem and high level of security.
1. Your child needs you and by this you need to spend quality time with them. It is not how many hours you spend with them but the purpose and meaning of every second is worth more than how many hours there is that you stay with them. Even if we are only for a moment with them but when in that moment they are the only ones we attend to then that moment can be worthwhile. Otherwise, the child will turn into the negative attitude only to be noticed. It is sometimes their thinking that if you don't want to appreciate any good thing they have done then turning into the negative side is better than to be ignored. They would think that you scolding and being angry with them is better than nothing. If that will make you to notice them then they would certainly do.
2. Words are often nothing compared to our deeds. It is not good to be all words to them and completely ignore any actions. Show them how things are done and why you are doing things in certain exact way for them to be able to understand how things work. Yelling and nagging won't help. Actions will give more impact than when you repeat saying whatever it is you need to say.
3. Make them feel their value in your life. This is the only way that they would feel powerful. If for once you are confused about something and you only have your child to talk to, then perhaps asking his opinion would help. Appreciate what he will say even if it's just a silly opinion but believe me, children nowadays would really know better. You need to give them a sense of belongingness by encouraging them to take part of daily household chores. This will make them feel that they are important to you.
4. Allow your children to learn from their own actions. If they want to do something on their own although we knew it will only do them nothing good then let them be just guide them through the process. They would know that what they did have consequences to face. If we allow them to have this way, you are allowing them to learn on first hand basis.
5. Allow them to see the logic of everything you do. If you make them see how things work in your home as logically as possible then they would see the importance of discipline. Let them find concrete things first before you can make them see the abstract.
This is how successful parenting should be. Most parents tend to forget the importance of their child to their lives. Don't be one of them.
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